If you know someone who is in eating disorder recovery, it’s important to be mindful of what you say to them. While you may have the best intentions, certain words, phrases, and comments can be triggering and harmful. Here are some things to keep in mind when communicating with someone in eating disorder recovery.
What to say:
- “I’m here for you.”
Letting someone know that you’re there to support them can be incredibly meaningful. It can help the person feel less alone and remind them that they have a support system to turn to.
- “How can I help?”
Offering practical support can be incredibly helpful. Whether it’s helping with meal planning, grocery shopping, or simply being there to listen, letting the person know that you’re there to help can be a valuable offer.
- “You’re doing a great job.”
Recovery from an eating disorder is a challenging process, and it can be helpful to offer words of encouragement along the way. Letting the person know that you see their progress and that you’re proud of them can be a valuable source of motivation.
- “I appreciate you.”
Taking the time to express gratitude for the person can help them feel valued and appreciated. It can also help shift the focus away from their eating disorder and onto their positive qualities.
- “Can we talk about how you’re feeling?”
Sometimes, simply giving someone the space to talk about their feelings can be incredibly helpful. It can help the person process their emotions and feel heard and validated.
What not to say:
- “You look great!”
While it may seem like a compliment, commenting on someone’s appearance can be triggering for someone in eating disorder recovery. Try to focus on other aspects of the person, such as their personality or accomplishments.
- “I wish I had your willpower.”
Eating disorders are not a choice, and they are not a result of willpower. Comments like these can be dismissive of the challenges that the person is facing and can be harmful.
- “Just eat!”
Telling someone to “just eat” can be oversimplifying the situation. Eating disorders are complex mental health conditions that require professional treatment, and recovery is not as simple as just eating.
- “I know how you feel.”
While it may be tempting to offer empathy, everyone’s experience with eating disorders is unique. Instead of assuming that you know how the person feels, try to listen and validate their experience.
- “You’re not trying hard enough.”
Recovery from an eating disorder is a process, and it’s important to remember that there will be ups and downs along the way. Blaming the person for their struggles can be harmful and dismissive of the challenges they are facing.
In conclusion, communication is a key aspect of supporting someone in eating disorder recovery. By being mindful of what words to say and what not to say, you can help create a safe and supportive environment for the person to heal. Remember to listen with empathy, offer practical support, and focus on the person’s positive qualities, and avoid making comments about appearance or food. Recovery is possible, and your support can make a meaningful difference in someone’s journey.
If someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, it is best to gather as much information as you possibly can. The National Association of Eating Disorders has a page dedicated to loved ones and friends. Visit their friends and family page for more information.